just a funny...
I read this list on Billy Brennan's myspace bulletin the other day and I was seriously laughing so hard I was crying. I asked him if it would be ok to share them with my blogger friends and he said sure..lol. He babysat his neice and nephew and these are the hysterical things he encountered..lol. Seriously, get a tissue...you will be rolling....
ENJOY!!
1. It’s perfectly logical to start crying and throw a tandrum if you get apple juice instead of Sprite for supper.
2.If you don’t like the pizza you’re eating, just spit it back out onto your plate with the other food you’re still eating and pick around it
3. Three year olds aren’t necessarily the best butt wipers in the world, and might tell you they wiped after #2 when in fact they didn’t. Hour old dried poop on a 3 year old’s butt cheek doesn’t smell that great and requires some sort of wet cloth to remove – toilet paper by itself won’t work. Telling the child “your Uncle Billy isn’t very good at this” will get a “oh don’t worry it’s ok” or “you did that fast!” response from the child.
4. Normal board game rules don’t apply as you know them – new rules are created and must be followed.
5. It makes perfect sense to want to watch the same Spongebob episode 3 times in a row. And of course you have to sing/scream the show’s intro song EVERY time.
6. Apparently, momma lets the younger one do lots of things with her permission that seem as if momma wouldn’t approve.When you ask “does your momma let you do that?” the answer will be either “uh huh” or an enthusiastic “YES!”
7. For some reason, high pitched eardrum splitting screams are a part of driving in the car with them.
8. A child pooting for about 5 minutes straight says “no of course not” when asked if they need to go poo poo. This would of course be followed by #3 happening again.
9. Yelling “I’m done” from the bathroom after going #2 means it’s time to come wipe me. Just saying “ok” but not showing up to assist in rear-end duties means the child yells “I’M DONE” louder a second time.
10. Arguing with a three year old for 10 minutes on the proper pronunciation of Charlie Brown's "Snoopie" instead of "Snoofie" is an excellent use of time.
11. Just in case you didn't know, your vehicle gets better gas mileage with thanksgiving and spiderman stickers ALL over your dashboard...and on your arm, head, hair, the backseat window.
12. The following words can be repeated non-stop for 30 minutes in any order for hilariousness' sake beyond all comprehension: fart, toot, booger, burp, tee tee, poo poo, and barnicles.
13. If there is only one pile of dog poop in 235 acres, a three year old can & will step in it in 4.57 seconds.
14. Never assume the beverage “YOU” just got outta’ the fridge is “YOURS”.
15.Always, always, ALWAYS lock the bathroom door no matter if it’s #1, #2 or trimmin’ ear hairs, because they will bust in and ask, “Whatchadoin’”????
16. If you can’t figure out which button to push on the 13 remote controls on your, TV, DVR, Recorder, or DVD player, just ask a three year old. Don’t ask the five year old, he’s on the computer installing the Digital Scanatron Paliferator.
17. There “MAY” be dead sundried worms in the three year olds pockets.
18.If you should smell “ANYTHING” out of the norm, and there are no dogs present, tell the three year old to go tell MOMMA a “SECRET”!!!
19. When in public, try “AVOID” walking by motor-cycle gangs with multiple tattoos and body piercings.
20. “YOU” should always try to go to the bathroom before visiting a restaurant, because if you get the urge, all children below the age of 6 will need to go also.
21.When momma returns after her evening out and walks in noticing all of the couch cushions in the middle of the living room, toys all over the place and exclaims “man, did a tornado come through here?”, you politely tell her that all three of us are still alive including the puppy which is a great miracle!
ENJOY!!
1. It’s perfectly logical to start crying and throw a tandrum if you get apple juice instead of Sprite for supper.
2.If you don’t like the pizza you’re eating, just spit it back out onto your plate with the other food you’re still eating and pick around it
3. Three year olds aren’t necessarily the best butt wipers in the world, and might tell you they wiped after #2 when in fact they didn’t. Hour old dried poop on a 3 year old’s butt cheek doesn’t smell that great and requires some sort of wet cloth to remove – toilet paper by itself won’t work. Telling the child “your Uncle Billy isn’t very good at this” will get a “oh don’t worry it’s ok” or “you did that fast!” response from the child.
4. Normal board game rules don’t apply as you know them – new rules are created and must be followed.
5. It makes perfect sense to want to watch the same Spongebob episode 3 times in a row. And of course you have to sing/scream the show’s intro song EVERY time.
6. Apparently, momma lets the younger one do lots of things with her permission that seem as if momma wouldn’t approve.When you ask “does your momma let you do that?” the answer will be either “uh huh” or an enthusiastic “YES!”
7. For some reason, high pitched eardrum splitting screams are a part of driving in the car with them.
8. A child pooting for about 5 minutes straight says “no of course not” when asked if they need to go poo poo. This would of course be followed by #3 happening again.
9. Yelling “I’m done” from the bathroom after going #2 means it’s time to come wipe me. Just saying “ok” but not showing up to assist in rear-end duties means the child yells “I’M DONE” louder a second time.
10. Arguing with a three year old for 10 minutes on the proper pronunciation of Charlie Brown's "Snoopie" instead of "Snoofie" is an excellent use of time.
11. Just in case you didn't know, your vehicle gets better gas mileage with thanksgiving and spiderman stickers ALL over your dashboard...and on your arm, head, hair, the backseat window.
12. The following words can be repeated non-stop for 30 minutes in any order for hilariousness' sake beyond all comprehension: fart, toot, booger, burp, tee tee, poo poo, and barnicles.
13. If there is only one pile of dog poop in 235 acres, a three year old can & will step in it in 4.57 seconds.
14. Never assume the beverage “YOU” just got outta’ the fridge is “YOURS”.
15.Always, always, ALWAYS lock the bathroom door no matter if it’s #1, #2 or trimmin’ ear hairs, because they will bust in and ask, “Whatchadoin’”????
16. If you can’t figure out which button to push on the 13 remote controls on your, TV, DVR, Recorder, or DVD player, just ask a three year old. Don’t ask the five year old, he’s on the computer installing the Digital Scanatron Paliferator.
17. There “MAY” be dead sundried worms in the three year olds pockets.
18.If you should smell “ANYTHING” out of the norm, and there are no dogs present, tell the three year old to go tell MOMMA a “SECRET”!!!
19. When in public, try “AVOID” walking by motor-cycle gangs with multiple tattoos and body piercings.
20. “YOU” should always try to go to the bathroom before visiting a restaurant, because if you get the urge, all children below the age of 6 will need to go also.
21.When momma returns after her evening out and walks in noticing all of the couch cushions in the middle of the living room, toys all over the place and exclaims “man, did a tornado come through here?”, you politely tell her that all three of us are still alive including the puppy which is a great miracle!
Comments