Bitterness...

I have had such a good life. God has always shown himself to me in such wonderful ways. I have had a blessed childhood, wonderful God-fearing parents, supportive family members, and great friends. Never have I wanted for anything that I didn't receive (that probably sounds like I grew up spoiled..lol...but, hey, I was an only child..lol) There are demons from my past, though, that rear their heads every now and then. I have come to realize that I have a very, very bitter root growing in my heart. Hmmm...why have I never let it go? Why can't I let it go? For some reason it's one of those things that you kind of put on the back burner and allow to simmer for a while and forget to check on it. Well, I have allowed this to simmer for about 17 years.....17 years!?!?!?!? How did I let it go on this long? Saturday I received some information about someone from my past...my past that was simmering...lol. I have come to realize that before I can continue to grow in my spiritual life I have got to find some way to let this go. God is speaking to me and showing me His marvelousness and how I can lean on Him and He will help me get rid of all the junk that I hold on to. Ryan used to tell me when we first got married that we come into our marriage carrying a backpack....his backpack filled with all of his past and traditions and characteristics and my backpack filled with all my past and traditions and characteristics. He would tell me that as we grew together in our marriage we would take things out of our backpacks and lay them down and begin to make our own past and traditions and characteristics. We would leave those personal things aside that were ours individually and begin to make new ones that were ours together. Well, although I have told him about my past and stuff it seems that I am reaching deep inside of my backpack again and pulling out something that is all rotten and gross....I thought I got rid of it all...lol. Pray for me that I can confront these demons of mine and finally be able to let go of the bitterness that grew...even though I didn't know it was growing. I have to find a way.