Never have I felt so loved....
Tonight some of our dear friends gathered to remember over the past. Ryan and I didn't know that this was going to happen and neither of us was prepared for the outpouring that was going to take place.
We have 5 days left in Mid-County. We are stepping into a new chapter of our lives at a new church with new people and very little that is familiar. It's starting to hit me that we don't have much time left here and as I sit and think of how much time has been invested in my family, church, and friendships I start to think of how much time I have wasted standing by and allowing so many things pass me by. Things like spending more time with family, getting to know my friends better, investing just a little bit more in my church. I speak as though I am dying or a piece of me is dying. I know we are just moving away, but anyone who has ever had people move out of their lives knows the heartbreak of losing a good friend and the relationship that will just never be the same. I'm scared of just that. I'm scared of moving away and never feeling the same as I do about the people that surround me now. I know that God will bring more people into our lives to love us and care about our children. I also know that home is just a days drive away and I can return at any point.
Still, there is something to be said of the loss that I feel as I enter this new chapter of life. I am losing the church I have invested 20 years of my life into. I have grown up in Hillcrest from a young teenager to adulthood. I have seen three pastors come through and four youth pastors. I have served on committees and taught Bible studies. I have attended many rallies, concerts, banquets, and, yes, 5th Sunday singin's..lol. I have so many memories with Hillcrest. I know where the stairs are to the attic and how to get to the steeple. I know all the good hiding places. I have had Sunday School or Bible Studies in just about every room of the entire church. I have sung in the choir, played the handbells, and sing in the praise and worship team. I have swung on the swings. I have cooked in the kitchen. I have positioned the manequin at the end of the hallway upstairs in the gym so it looks like someone is at the end of the hallway looking down at you as a sillouette (yes, it's creepy...lol). I have been to GAs and Acteens and have attended Super Saturdays and sleepovers. I have been to youth camps and even led a few. I have seen Hillcrest undergo some very serious facelifts and reconstructions. I have lived through not one, but two building programs. I have seen the congregation stretched to its breaking point, and, somehow, retain its shape. I have seen many teenagers shed many tears to many adults only to turn back to the world. I have seen many others turn from their worldly ways into the loving arms of their Creator. I have seen children grow from infants to young adults in the blink of an eye. I have seen my own children grow up in the loving embraces of the same people who used to embrace me.
It's heartbreaking to think of what we will leave behind. I feel sad at the people we will be missing out on seeing day in and day out. I will miss hearing the drums and the guitars screaming out the music that I love so much. I will miss it all. But we go on to a new church. One that has the same love and the same worship as we have at Hillcrest. A love that is from One that overstretches time and space to unite friends over long distances. We go on to a new ministry that needs someone who will preach the Bible and who will stand up for what is right. We go on to a new place and a new home and new people who will love us the same as Hillcrest has always loved us. I pray that as we leave we leave a space for someone else to fill. I pray that Hillcrest will, again, be stretched and, again, retain its shape. I know that in 5 years we will be forgotten. Replaced by new members who can teach and sing. But, Hillcrest will always hold a VERY special place in my heart along with the friends I will have here in the familiar town of my childhood.
We have 5 days left in Mid-County. We are stepping into a new chapter of our lives at a new church with new people and very little that is familiar. It's starting to hit me that we don't have much time left here and as I sit and think of how much time has been invested in my family, church, and friendships I start to think of how much time I have wasted standing by and allowing so many things pass me by. Things like spending more time with family, getting to know my friends better, investing just a little bit more in my church. I speak as though I am dying or a piece of me is dying. I know we are just moving away, but anyone who has ever had people move out of their lives knows the heartbreak of losing a good friend and the relationship that will just never be the same. I'm scared of just that. I'm scared of moving away and never feeling the same as I do about the people that surround me now. I know that God will bring more people into our lives to love us and care about our children. I also know that home is just a days drive away and I can return at any point.
Still, there is something to be said of the loss that I feel as I enter this new chapter of life. I am losing the church I have invested 20 years of my life into. I have grown up in Hillcrest from a young teenager to adulthood. I have seen three pastors come through and four youth pastors. I have served on committees and taught Bible studies. I have attended many rallies, concerts, banquets, and, yes, 5th Sunday singin's..lol. I have so many memories with Hillcrest. I know where the stairs are to the attic and how to get to the steeple. I know all the good hiding places. I have had Sunday School or Bible Studies in just about every room of the entire church. I have sung in the choir, played the handbells, and sing in the praise and worship team. I have swung on the swings. I have cooked in the kitchen. I have positioned the manequin at the end of the hallway upstairs in the gym so it looks like someone is at the end of the hallway looking down at you as a sillouette (yes, it's creepy...lol). I have been to GAs and Acteens and have attended Super Saturdays and sleepovers. I have been to youth camps and even led a few. I have seen Hillcrest undergo some very serious facelifts and reconstructions. I have lived through not one, but two building programs. I have seen the congregation stretched to its breaking point, and, somehow, retain its shape. I have seen many teenagers shed many tears to many adults only to turn back to the world. I have seen many others turn from their worldly ways into the loving arms of their Creator. I have seen children grow from infants to young adults in the blink of an eye. I have seen my own children grow up in the loving embraces of the same people who used to embrace me.
It's heartbreaking to think of what we will leave behind. I feel sad at the people we will be missing out on seeing day in and day out. I will miss hearing the drums and the guitars screaming out the music that I love so much. I will miss it all. But we go on to a new church. One that has the same love and the same worship as we have at Hillcrest. A love that is from One that overstretches time and space to unite friends over long distances. We go on to a new ministry that needs someone who will preach the Bible and who will stand up for what is right. We go on to a new place and a new home and new people who will love us the same as Hillcrest has always loved us. I pray that as we leave we leave a space for someone else to fill. I pray that Hillcrest will, again, be stretched and, again, retain its shape. I know that in 5 years we will be forgotten. Replaced by new members who can teach and sing. But, Hillcrest will always hold a VERY special place in my heart along with the friends I will have here in the familiar town of my childhood.
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