Feeling better...a little...

I slept much better last night. I think that as a preggers I just tend to have hormonal moments and freak out over stupid little things. A lot is going on right now and I just worry that it won't turn out like I want it to...lol. For instance:

MDO is coming to an end for me. I am stepping out and a new lady is stepping in. I get concerned about stuff like, "Will she be able to do everything the way I did?" Well, what difference does it make? LOL...she will run it just how it needs to be run..lol....whether she does it like me or not. Also, our Christmas MDO program is coming up and I totally didn't realize that there is just not much time to prepare the music. I should have started in October but couldn't seem to get motivated enough to do it. Then, all these projects that I want to do with the kids. Thanksgiving projects/crafts and Christmas projects/crafts are important to me and I want to make sure the kids have small mementos to take home to their parents that are both meaningful and thoughtful. I don't want to make just color pages that their parents will eventually throw out (as I do sometimes because it just makes so much clutter). I'm also really involved in MOPS (which has taken an extreme backseat due to pregnancy brain). Praise God for Micah who has stepped in to help me with crafts and be my "second" for this semester. I couldn't do it without her. **Thanks Micah** AND, as everyone knows, the holidays are approaching and with that comes the ever looming question about how we will work out family time during the holidays. It's almost depressing about how family members can make you feel like a terrible, horrible, no good daughter or family member if you can't spend the holidays with EVERYBODY. It's hard. How are we supposed to be in two places for Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day? I would also like to spend my OWN time with my little family by ourselves and no grandparents so we can make our OWN memories without having to be pressured to spend all this time with everyone else. It almost makes the holidays less enjoyable...but, I know I'm not the only person who is faced with these problems nor will I be the last. I also know I need to make sure and enjoy my family while they are still alive because there are so many that are without their families during the holidays and that makes me sad to even complain about all this.

Anyway, then, there's this new baby coming along. I question whether I will actually make it to January 20 before I have him. Is Cade going to be able to enjoy his birthday without the threat of having to share his time with mommy and daddy before this new "intruder" comes into the picture? Hopefully!!

LOL...as you can tell my mind is mush. I know I can't be expected to know everything. I am in essence taking control from God's hands and stating that I don't trust Him completely with my life and my family's life when I worry. I KNOW THIS!! So, why do I continually go here? Human nature...but, is that really an excuse? If it is, it's not a good one...lol.

"Lord, I believe...but, help me in my unbelief!!"